And it's time to start again. First, an update. All the fabulous, beautiful progress? Reversed. Passed GO, but in the wrong direction. Evidently, my close encounter with death, in the form of one of my dads, was too much for my system. I haven't figured all that out yet, but am hoping that the large amounts of money and time I'm funneling toward that will help.
In the meantime, my fibro has gotten particularly nasty again, and I've tried in many fits and starts to get back in the groove.
This time, though, it has all the makings to smack of the Real Deal. I met with a personal trainer at the Y who specializes in working with people "with limitations." Yep, I think that's me right now. I presented her with this body that feels pretty foreign to me, and she, bless her heart, gave me a weights regimen that I could and can actually do. And guess what? I'm actually doing it! Three times a week, for two weeks before my vacation, and today got right back to it.
Did you hear that? Vacation? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I just got away for an entire week, to rest in sunny Miami. The hostel was great, the weather was beautiful. The catch? The beach was almost a mile away. Now that sounds like nothing, and actually looks like nothing on the map. After all, it's only several blocks. But for this body, that was a whooooole lot. But, a sandy beach is a great motivator, and I am thrilled to say that I stepped up to the challenge. Logged several miles, EVERY day. Granted, with lots of breaks in between. But, I did it. And now I know that I can again. Am I PSYCHED?!?!
Got the word today from my dr. that I need to, somehow, reallocate my finite resources so that more of them are spent on me. How I'm going to do that, and still get the kids and my DH what they need is beyond me. However, I am doing my best to surrender and not know all the answers. I went home, asked DH to make dinner, called and made a long overdue appt. to see the podiatrist for orthotics, and set out for a walk. To the library, at which I'm now blogging, while resting said achy feet. And then, I'm going to walk back!
One day at a time, one step at a time, on this spiraling journey called life, I will keep going. I have set a long-term goal that feels, well, do-able, not to mention incredibly important: I want my inner figure to be visible by the time I'm forty, because I want the energy. And, dammit, I want the fabulous body!
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